Sounds so simple.
And really makes so much sense.
… we wouldn’t care for others so much.
… we wouldn’t listen to others.
… we wouldn’t put others first.
… we wouldn’t give away our voice.
… we wouldn’t question everything we do.
… we wouldn’t doubt our abilities and values.
… we wouldn’t be scared of our own power.
… we wouldn’t let others make decisions for us.
Ever since I remember, I was the quiet, shy child. I never spoke when adults had conversations. I played silently by myself or read a book in the corner. I was in charge of my little brother, responsible for him. I was a good student too, always did my homework, all the extra tasks and projects. I respected elders and always assisted them when needed. Yes, I was a good child in every way. With no self-love or self-esteem 🙁
I didn’t know better. And I really didn’t want to. Or need to.
Until I started high school. I was still good student, but I saw the other side… I started making my own money, and having more insight into what others are doing, I started questioning myself and what I really want. At that time, I already lived alone, my father died my third year of high school and I never got along with my mother anyway. Because she never could’ve accepted that I want something else than what she wanted for me.
My first job was the first time I really loved myself, enjoyed myself and I felt proud of what I’m doing. I made my own decisions, I took my life in my own hands. That’s when I got my first car, finished MBA, got respect and responsibilities…
Until kids… Kids put my self-love and self-care in the back. Because I let it. I chose to live my life for kids. I chose to do everything for them, put them first… Not that they asked, I did it to myself. And if you ask me now, I’m not really sure why. They would’ve survived without me for few hours, they would’ve lived and be fed and cared even if I would do my thing for few days… But I didn’t want to. I even took a job that would make me available for them at decent hours. I slipped into plain vanilla, black, grey and beige corporate world. Me and my husband took separate vacations so kids could enjoy more of the summer. We almost never took time for ourselves. I felt guilty for leaving them with others.
I don’t regret those times, but now that the kids are older (my youngest turned 18 yesterday) I see what a big mistake it was.
In the last few years I got my self-love back. I take time off when I need it. I pamper myself when I want. I eat better and exercise more. I look after my body and my health. I stand behind my choices. I tell others what I think and what I want. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
And I realised…
It’s really not us vs. them.
It’s not selfish to take care of ourselves.
We can take time for ourselves and for others too.
It’s not about who’s better or who’s right.
We can still love ourselves and others too.
We can still decide what’s best for us and respect others.
We can still help others and support ourselves as well.
We can believe in ourselves and what we do.
We know best what we want and what’s best for us.
Stop looking for approval from others.
Listen to yourself and be brave enough to go for it!
That’s what loving yourself is <3
No matter how great the desire is to please another,
let it be no greater than the desire to be yourself.
I Love You!
p.s. Grab my FREE GIFT for you:
BE YOUR OWN CUPID – LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
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