I assume you have some goals you want to accomplish this month, this year or sometime in the future. With all the hype around New Year resolutions and the importance of goal setting, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of choosing goals that you don’t really want. Some time ago I already talked how your vision is more important than your goals, and today I want to share a different perspective to it.
Let’s say you choose a goal, you (think you) really want. And you know how every goal should be S.M.A.R.T. , so you made sure you have all the letters covered in yours. But sometimes it’s not so easy to define it in those terms, like how do you measure »I want to be healthier.« or »I want to feel accomplished.« So what do you do? You choose the next best thing – your weight or income or your medical score or your list size… (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying having those goals is bad, if that’s what you want).
Then you are working hard, doing all you can, focusing on those goals. But… you are not even close to achieving them. It feels like you’ll never reach it. You feel frustrated or overwhelmed, stressed out or even, God forbid, you quit, just because you are not seeing »the right« numbers. You are so focused on that one number that you are not seeing your progress or worse, you don’t realise you’ve already achieved what you wanted in the first place.
Let me tell you a story (the one that proves that I’ve been there so I know what I’m talking about).
Like many of you I was not exactly satisfied with my weight. I’m pretty tall so that extra few pounds didn’t really show but I felt them. Or better I saw them when I couldn’t fit in my jeans. Of course during the years I tried different diets only to lose some weight and gained it back. But somehow, smart as I am (grin) I realised I’m more aware of my eating when I exercise. After all, why should I work out and sweat only to eat it all back. So logical thing for me was to join the gym. Luckily I know myself enough (or let’s say I tried so many gym courses before) that I picked the perfect one for me. And then my uncle died, which motivated me even more to stick to my plan (I wrote about the lessons HERE). After few months of working out 2-3 times per week, everyone began to comment my look. Only I still haven’t lost a single pound. But my clothes fitted better, I could squeze myself in »that 20 pounds ago« jeans and the best part, I felt better and stronger. Now, almost 8 months into this regime, I’m »only« 10 pounds lighter, which is still far from my goal. But my original goal was »feeling healthier« and »get to wear that jeans again«. Which I achieved!!! Not in a year but even sooner!
Can I get a whoop, whoop?!!??!
You see my point? I could still pull my hair and beat myself for not achieving my number goal. But by seeing it from »feeling« perspective, I feel super-great and proud and accomplished and I’m motivated to continue.
Do you have any goals that are not really yours? That you don’t feel them? The ones you have just because you thought it would be right? Because of others?
What about income? How did you get to that number? I know lots of business people are tempted to aim high because of all the promotions offering magic touch to make 10k, 6-figures or even more… You don’t want to earn less, right? But do you really care about that number if you could reach your dreams and your WHY with less? (What is your WHY anyway?) Or maybe in different ways.
Don’t mess with the cursed HOW! The Universe
What about kids and our expectations of their grades? Same story. When all we really want for them is to be happy.
If you look at your goals, how can you adjust them to reflect more of what you are after?
And finally, if you look at where you are right now, did you already achieved your goal?
If yes, congratulations! Go out and celebrate. If not, are you as far from it as you thought? I hope not.
For all those reasons and more, I encourage you to focus on your feelings.
How do you want to feel? What do you want to experience?
Dollars and pounds are just the number. You can have your feelings if you are poor or rich, thin or overweight… and that’s all that matters!
Feel the joy!
p.s. Do you know what you want? Do you have a dream board (aka vision board) to remind you of your dreams? Creating one is easy peasy super fun. I make it with my family every year! Wanna see how? Check out
HAVE FUN WITH FAMILY VISION BOARD webinar!
Be clear on your WHAT and let the Universe help you with HOW.
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